The very stupid puppy #1

Once upon a time there was a puppy that was very stupid.  The puppy's man was Sammy.  Sammy did all kinds of not so smart things for one Sammy would often play in traffic, Wanda the helpful squirrel told Sammy why this was a bad idea but Sammy didn't listen instead he ran through the intersection of fifth and Lakeisha jumping around dodging the cars playfully till he saw something out of the corner of his eye moving really fast.  He sprang into action to catch it but he soon realized it was just his tail.  "Stupid Puppy!"  he thought to himself as he turned to see a very large semi which he soon found running across his abdomen.

Billly Bob walked out of his trailer on the hot summer night to investigate the strange glow that his barn was emitting.  Beer in hand Billy slowly opened the barn door and peered inside.  What he saw reminded him of a giant egg, sunny side up,on a plate.  Then he recalled a show he saw about U.F.O.s and ran back to his trailer and grabbed his double barrel shotgun off the counter and quickly ran back outside and fired on the spacecraft.  His shot had no  effect but leaving him without ammunition with which to fight the real enemies that were now emerging from the ship.  They were upon him quickly knocking him unconscious.....when he awoke he was strapped into a metal chair with a strangle helmet strapped to his head.  Then he saw the aliens coming from a dark corner of the room toward him holding a device that vaguely resembled a drill. "Stay back....I'm warnin you!" said Billy Bob in a shaky voice.  But the alien payed no heed to his warning and placed the drill inline with a hole in the helmet and dissected his brain.  The alien then wired pieces of the brain into the navigational computer of the spaceship hoping to use it to find the locations of interest on planet Earth.  When the alien fired up the ship and put the brain in control of the ship the ship intimidatingly took a left turn then another and another and another to the aliens dismay he could not stop this movement and was doomed for all eternity to be controlled by a redneck dreaming of nascar...

Story ideas?

Does anyone have any suggestions for a story?  Because my mind well is currently dry and I am in need of inspiration!

    My hands wouldn't stop shaking as I looked down at the husk that once was

my best friend.  What did this to Raul? What the hell could do this?! He

looked like something had sucked the very life out of him.  To be frank he

seemed like an old piece of meat that had been left to dry up in the sun.  I

must admit vampire had crossed my mind but that was just stupid and besides

the title vampire wouldn't do whatever did this justice.
    I called the police they showed up 10 minutes later with an ambulance

I told then on the phone they shouldn't bother he was obviously dead but none

the less they brought one and loaded him up in it's back, they promised me

that they would figure out what did this to my friend and drove off.  I left

immediately after it, I never much liked to be around police even when I

hadn't done anything illegal.  I guess it's mostly because I've always felt a

need to avoid authority figures but that's irrelevant to this tale.  As I

turned the corner on to my block I remembered Raul had mentioned a pretty

hardcore group of hackers he'd been working with I couldn't help but wander

if they had anything to do with this I shrugged off the idea as I walked up

the steps to my apartment building,  As I entered the crappy studio apartment

that I called home I throw myself into my bed by the window and drifted to

sleep......
    I awoke to the sound of a knock on the door and glanced over at my

alarm clock  "2:32 A.M."  "Who the hell is out at this hour?" I asked myself

sleepily as I stumbled to the door.  As soon as I undid the deadbolt the door

swang open and upon seeing who it was I fell to the floor.  Raul looked

concerned and said to me "Are you all right?  You look as if you've seen a

ghost." It must have been a dream I thought to me self as I lifted myself

from the ground and grabbed Raul and hugged him.  As my hands touched his

back I felt something strange like something metallic inbeded in between Raul's

shoulder blades I pulled away from Raul and turned him around.  With eyes

wide in terror I saw a circuit board jutting from his back and at the same

time I noticed the sound of something spinning.  Raul grabbed me and pinned

me to the wall and said in a frighteningly monotone voice "I finally found a way

to get my PC to become mobile." "All i needed to do was dry myself out a bit

while I let the new program I came up with write into my brain."  He said

letting out a devilish laugh that would have made Chuck Norris shiver.  I

just didn't think about rehydrating but lucky me you came along and brought

those paramedics or I would have been a goner ha ha ha. they were I nice

snack and now they're like me to"  I didn't know what to do so I did the only

thing I could think to do I reached over and grabbed the vase off my

windowsill and smashed it crossed the creatures face.  I feel to the ground

as it released me as its eyes turned neon blue and shot beams of light.

Around trying to see where I'd went as sparks flew off its back, I must have

shorted some of it's electrics I thought to my self as I rolled under my

bed.  desperately a clawed around beneath my bed till I found the box i has looking from inside I drew my grandfathers gun, a .44 caliber semiautomatic pistol.  I rolled out from underneath the bed and fired two rounds at the cyborg.  One hit the wall and i think the other hit the cat that had been sitting on the chair sleeping throughout this event.  I jumped up and throw myself at the monster and pressed the pistol into the front of its skull and pulled the trigger.
    As the bullet pushed through the creatures mind I saw a flash of light before the electricity arced off Raul's shattered skull onto the pistol and I was thrown to the wall.  After nearly an hour of trying to convince myself that it was safe to get up I finally did.  And as I saw dawn pushing through the clouds I knew everything was going to be alright.  Five minutes later I looked back out the window in response to a strange sound and saw them.  At least thirty disgusting mixes of man and machine.......apparently Raul had infected a few people before I put him down.  I looked at the pistol in my hand with five rounds left in the clip and said the only thing I could think to say mother effer and I shot myself.

God's other son.

Most of Georges days in a distracted haze simply floating through his dull live.  He worked as an accountant for a major bank, he spent most of his days sitting behind his desk and his nights alone watching tv and catching up on his quarterly report but once a year he slipped away from his boring life and became something more something much more.......

Once a year on August sixth George bought a took a plane, drove for 2 hours, then rode a donkey to a valley in  the remote mountains of Cambodia.  Once he arrives he enters the sacred forest and searches till he finds what he's looking for a small stone structure within which lays his true object.  A six foot tall white animal with a foot long spike protruding from the top of its skull.  As he approaches the marvelous animal he cry's "Oh mightiest of unicorns Snuggles I beseech thee please lend me your wisdom for I have but one question."  To which the Snuggles always replies "What is your question?" and George asks his question as did his father before him and his grandfather before that "Who will win Survivor this year?".  The great unicorn tells him the answer and then George returns home gleefully until next year and Snuggles is left in his home by himself thinking "This location sucks the only person who comes to see me is that nut job......why did I choose to spawn as a freaking unicorn......shoulda followed Jesus's example and been a human but no dad said "Don't copy your older brother!" this isn't fair.....I hate Survivor.  ANd I have no idea where the name snuggles came from......"

Hi